Me, at the beginning (WAY before online dating—but the same pattern applies no matter HOW you connect):

I'd meet someone who piqued my interest. Maybe they were charismatic, or cute, or had the right "hair." I had a few types that could sucker me every dang time.

Whatever it was, I would get stars in my eyes, and I would be hooked! Just like that.

If they were also interested, it was a done deal. We were a thing. And we would be a thing no matter how they treated me, until they dumped me, and I would end up feeling used and less-than. I played this pattern out over and over again through my teen years.

Same thing happened with my husband, except for the dumping part. Instead, we got married and started building a dream life, or so I thought...

Me, newly on the dating market again after leaving an abusive marriage:

I joined all the sites. I made the "perfect" profile. I put my best foot forward.

And I went on 127 first dates in a single year.

You see, I didn't wanna make that mistake again, so I approached dating differently. I was 15 years older, a bit wiser, definitely more suspicious, and internet dating had become a thing.

I was enthusiastically trying to "crack the code."

Dating through that year was like having a second full-time job! Not just the dates, but reading profiles online, the chatting, the phone calls, the planning, the outfit selections, the endless restaurant suggestions and debates, the travel to and from, the lack of chemistry, the rejections—and worse, the few REALLY REALLY BAD (a couple were even scary) dates.

127 times!

Honestly, it was invaluable.

Not very encouraging, but invaluable. I learned SO MUCH about what I wanted and what I didn't want in a potential partner, and I built on that.